How to speak women

[Reffy]

I found this funny :)

How to speak Woman-ese:



"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

"We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"We need to talk" = I need to complain

"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like

"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]

"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

[Baron von Brunk]

"Thank you so much... I owe you know" = Thanks for the free money, sucker. Wah-ha!

[Mushroomheadx15]

then theres "Its cute" = Your small.

[Arandar]

then theres "Its cute" = Your small.
Sorry I never had that problem so I wouldn't know. :razz:

Heh if you ever said all this to a woman in person though then she would kick your as most likely. It would be kind of funny though since she would probably end up saying one of those things on the list and then doing what shes angry about.

[Mushroomheadx15]

Sorry I never had that problem so I wouldn't know. :razz:

Heh if you ever said all this to a woman in person though then she would kick your as most likely. It would be kind of funny though since she would probably end up saying one of those things on the list and then doing what shes angry about.

Heh, I love this list. No girl has said that to me. But one did say it to my freind. So i bough him a mini condom for his B-Day. I love life.

[Ender]

How big are your feet?=You must have an extremely large penis.



Luckily for me, I wear a sixteen ;)

[DarthEvilDude]

you should also add things women to, for example:

Being a bitch: Either PMS'ing or Being a Bitch, or Both

[arefx]

"Don't worry I'll get the phone for you" = Im expecting my ex to call.

[Padreg Smith]

this is all good, I need to make notes for later.

[arefx]

"I don't mind making dinner" = "... but I like making you do the dish's while I rest and watch sex and the city"

[Green]

So what does it mean when I say "This thread is hilarious".

[True]

this is all good, I need to make notes for later.
haha, and most of it is true. Man if they saw this thread lol

[Arandar]

So what does it mean when I say "This thread is hilarious".
"I'm a woman and am therefor offended." :razz:

[Baron von Brunk]

So what does it mean when I say "This thread is hilarious".

It means "I'm a woman who's trying to sound cool by scoffing at the opposite gender's misfortunes".

[Duality]

"I don't mind making dinner" = "... but I like making you do the dish's while I rest and watch sex and the city"
Whoa. Equal division of labor.

Goddamn those women.

[Green]

It means "I'm a woman who's trying to sound cool by scoffing at the opposite gender's misfortunes".

So what does "I've never had problems with women either" mean.

[True]

"I'm a woman and am therefor offended." :razz:
Good one! lol.

[Mr_Pink]

Wow, you guys have some problems if that's what you hear.

[HLK]

"Who is she?" = What does she have, that I don't